I have always wondered where I will fit in.

I’ve had friends, 

Good friends,

Sure. 

Put me in a room with every friend I’ve ever had and I think I’d still feel like an extra chair no one uses.

And I know that’s some over dramatisation of just how I feel.

And to say you’re too smart to understand your own emotions sounds fucking stupid and arrogant. 

And how can you be arrogant when for most of your life you’ve thought about killing yourself?

Maybe I am, 

And that trying to kill myself was somehow selfish.

Suppose it is. 

At least that’s another thing on the list of things I don’t quite get right.