I hate thinking.

And I envy people who can switch off.

I feel like my light is always on,

Someone is always home,

But the bulb is broken.

It flickers on and off and on and off and on and on and on.

I have never really thought of my life as a constant,

Just always a glimpse of something I could have;

If I could be bothered.

If I could try a bit harder.

If I could just convince people that I’m worth trying for.

It’s difficult for me so I can’t imagine how difficult I am for everyone else.

I just pray to be normal in a world where being normal is boring.

I’d love people to say I’m boring. 

At least then I could be something achievable.