Have you ever woken up in a cold sweat?

Your eyes sting as you open them,

A mix of sweat and tears.

You try to get up and no matter how much you try;

You’re glued to the bed like a rat.

Clawing at your mattress in distress – screaming inside your head for safety.

Time is blurry,

Was that five seconds or 5 hours? 

You lie unsure and frozen,

Begging to get back to sleep.

Or die.

Whichever one would end the feeling faster.

Panic soaks you like sea water,

Heavy and constant like an anchor to a reality you aren’t even sure is real.

Every horrible thought you’ve ever had floods your brain,

The membranes firing faster than ever – making sure you feel everything.

I’ve not had a nightmare in a couple of months.

Every dream has you in it,

Standing between me and the darkness.

Like my brain learned the kinder ending to my story.