I’m not too sure what happens in my head sometimes.

It’s always a thousand thoughts racing at the same time.

It’s really hard to concentrate on anything and everything all at once. 

Sometimes I notice the tiniest things;

A random hair out of place or an object that has moved 0.0000001cm from where I put it. 

And then sometimes people can hold up a giant sign in front of my face screaming at me to stop and I’d continue to plod along like the idiot I am.

It’s honestly really draining. 

I can have a million and one thoughts about how your smile looked today,

Or that one song I’ve been listening to on repeat 50 times a day for weeks.

Then sometimes my mind goes blank,

I don’t remember that song.

I’ll never forget your smile though. 

It hurts my head. 

Often I wish I wasn’t like this,

Or I wish I could understand it more.

I’m always pissing someone off or upsetting someone for something I don’t remember saying,

Even though I did say it. 

Or I’ll say something,

In my head it’s nice and funny and everyone hates it,

Or hates me.

Probably both. 

I’ve found it difficult to keep people, anyone in my life for long periods of time.

I think I exhaust people.

Hopefully not as much as I do myself. 

80% of the time my actions don’t match my intentions,

Or my intentions don’t match my actions.

I don’t know. 

Im just tired.